Another knock on the door, just as we are sitting down to dinner this time. “Really, Jim? Again?”
He jumps up from the kitchen table, his eyes bloodshot and crazed. “Suze, it’s okay, it’s not what you think.”
I sit here, steaming. It’s exactly what I think.
“Jimbo, hey, uh, hey. Oh, Suze,” he mumbles, noticing me for the first time. “Whassup? You look great. Didn’t know you would be here.”
I say nothing. My scowl says it for me. Jim disappears into the bedroom and returns a moment later with a small Ziplock baggie crammed full of dark green leaves.
“Dude, yessssssss.” His face is a Cheshire cat grin, smile threatening to engulf his unnecessary features, like eyes. “All right.” He hands my boyfriend a crisp, one-hundred dollar bill.
“You got a printing press in your basement, Mike?” inquires Jim with faux-seriousness while pretending to inspect the bill. “Manufacturing your own counterfeit money?” He laughs at his own lame joke, as if the three of us are hearing it for the first time.
I would roll my eyes if it weren’t all so pathetic, so predictable. Why am I here? I wonder,What the hell am I doing with this loser?
Mike winks at me and leaves, inadvertently leaving the door ajar. Jim walks over and shuts it, clicks the lock.
“Now we’re alone, Suzy, you and me.” He stuffs the money is his the back pocket of his jeans, like it’s a stray gum wrapper and not my share of the rent. He leans over and kisses my neck. I hate him and I hate me for being here and I hate Mike and I hate everything. We kiss and my hate turns to passion as my body hungers for more than just his lips. We’re on the floor and we’re both fumbling for our zippers.
The minutes tumble by, a blur of equal parts lust and frenetic young energy. Our relationship is not deep; I am 22 and a fool.