Broken was how he felt. No longer a whole person. The most difficult thing was that previously when Sam had been at low points, he could rely on Ash. She had been there, solid as a cornerstone.
One night towards the end of a long, disconsolate phone call to his mother, they devised a strategy for his survival. She agreed to listen to him for an hour every morning before work. She said she would do this for as long as it took, but they must limit the phonecall to an hour. Mostly he asked the same questions over and over. There seemed no logic to the betrayal, no last word. The fact that they could betray him came from another planet!
Sam's mother was surprised once at how upset he became over his former friends' musical differences. "Mike doesn't even like indie pop. He used to slag off Bon Iver". Sam's mother did not know who or what Bon Iver was. She wasn't sure what indie pop meant, but she did know that the only way her son would chase away the betrayal was to give voice to it.
In the deep night, if he sensed an army of harms coming, he curled his body into crash position and rocked himself back to an approximate calm.
Sometimes he got up and played 'Skinny Love' very, very loud.
I like how his mother offers to help, but not enable. This sad and lonely piece is well done.
ReplyDeleteLovely writing, lots of emotions in a few words. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you for participating in Week Two of Trifecta. There's so much about this response that I like--from the music to the "approximate calm." It's very well done. My only criticism is that the sentence containing the word "betray" seems to be written in a different voice than the rest of the post. Because I was looking for the word, the sentence stuck out for me as feeling almost tagged on like an afterthought. Anyway, I certainly hope you come back for Week Three so we can see more of your talent.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the feed back guys. Yep, Trifecta I see what you mean about that sentence! I'm really grateful for the honest criticism, because it will help me hone my writing I hope!
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