Thursday, June 21, 2012

Riptides by Miranda

Riptides

Harsh cries scatter ragged thoughts
Seagulls taking sky and
Pushed back down again.
The thoughts return
As they always do
Catching me deep, hopeless and lost.
Loneliness ebbs at my feet,
Licking my toes
Leaving the sea to answer the gulls
As it roars to keens
And me
Tasting salt
And swallowing bitterness
That already my heart is choking on.
I see their faces in the roiling clouds
Remember their falseness and feeble words
And it all feels like sand grating fresh cuts.
Thunder.
In the indigo sky
Warning me to take my sorrowed soul away
But my mind will not soothe me
And my feet will not move me
As I tire
And slip below the surface.
Then the sky knows the weight of my worry
And the tears fall down at last
Smelling of rain and starry sands
And in the crackling light
The sky can see
It's not the only blue body
Far beyond reach.

8 comments:

  1. Thanks for linking up with Trifecta this week. Wow, indeed. I love your ocean imagery here. You've done a great job with creating a believable setting (and metaphor). I can see that beach and the storm rolling in so clearly. Great job with the prompt. This is really lovely. Hope to see you back again soon.

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought the scene was as vivid as I tried to make it! I loved the freedom of the one word prompt - I can't wait for the next one.
      -Miranda

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  2. impressive!
    i liked the sea metaphor you carried throughout the poem, being a lover of the water, this piece only spoke to me all the more because of it.
    you captured a strong sense of emotion all the way through, great write!

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    1. Thank you! I love the sea too, it's one of my favorite things to write about because I can always picture the sights and sounds so clearly in my head.
      -Miranda

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  3. Lots of great imagery and sensory detail here -- I could practically feel the spray. Well done.

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    1. Thank you! That's exactly what I was hoping for :)
      -Miranda

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